Love God and Do As You Will

In this last weeks we have witnessed some unsavoury sides of society, both here and overseas. The inappropriate behaviour of Eddie Maguire and friends along with the strident responses to the tragedies in Orlando and in England with the death of Jo Cox have bordered on the bizarre. Interestingly enough we have not heard the same responses to the multiple deaths in non-white communities.

Eddie McGuire and friends have forgotten a very important fact of life. Culture, corporate culture, church culture, societal culture is what you do. If what you do is bullying by nature and you do it enough it becomes the culture. The AFL and clubs such as Collingwood have trumpeted a culture of inclusion and zero policy to bullying and harassment. Unfortunately that now looks a little lame.

Now the church is not immune from the same criticism. Our performance in handling the child abuse issues, bullying, gender based issues at both Church wide  and parish levels is often out of sync with the culture of love we preach and promote.

Academic Andrew Macleod writing in the SMH, commenting on these and other issues within social media and online forums writes:

‘Initially, when I signed up, Twitter and Facebook were places to debate public policy. They were places to send and receive alternative views, to refine one's opinions and sometimes to change one's views based on new perspectives.

But recently the tone of social media has changed. Social media is now a place where there is lots of talking and very little listening. While debates no longer take place, shouting matches do. While new online friends can be made, real ones can be lost. I found myself becoming guilty of this, too.’

He goes on:

‘When something tragic happens now, social media gives us a platform, not to speak, but to yell. Not to engage, but to bully, not to consider, but to scream. Social media has lots of proclaiming and no listening. Things can be said online that threaten friendships in reality.

And I found myself doing this and I didn't like what I was becoming.’

Culture is what we do. And if we are not careful what we do will begin to mimic the world in which we live. Like the frog in the saucepan of cold water placed on a stove, we only know we are in trouble when it is too late. The water is no longer cold. We are no longer living the culture we thought we were, we are now living differently.

James and John in the Gospel reading, find themselves in this very situation. These loyal disciples and companions of Jesus, living within the cloistered culture Jesus was developing act, not out of that culture, but out of the culture of the world around them. The justly earn the name of Sons of Thunder for their outburst. They throw a tantrum because things weren’t going their way and wish to punish, no, annihilate the Samaritan village that had not welcomed them.

Jesus rebukes them for their break from his code of practice, his expectations of those who followed him. Paul takes up the same idea in his letter to the Galatians – here he is directly addressing how those within the Christian church treat each other. This is about respect, love and modelling of the right behaviour.  The hardest thing to be is a Christian because we must at all times be reflecting on our practice and assessing what is the culture we are modelling.  Paul writes: "For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” If, however, you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.”

Aubra Love writes: "To avoid 'devouring one another' (5:15) requires personal responsibility, restraint and stewardship of care for one another." This requirement sits firmly on all who profess faith in Christ and not just the Vicar, Wardens, Parish Council or others in positions of authority. It is the requirement of all who participate in the corporate life of the body of Christ.

We are:

• Responsible for the culture of our community. How we treat each other, how we allow members to treat others and how we model the culture of respect, inclusion and safety. Inside schools and workplaces the role of the bystander is emphasised. A bystander is someone who sees or knows about bullying or other forms of violence that is happening to someone else; they can either be part of the problem (hurtful bystander) or part of the solution (helpful bystander). It's easy to ignore incidents of bullying, or walk away thinking "at least it’s not me. But believe it or not, by doing nothing you are contributing to the problem — and you may be giving bullies the "okay" to carry on with their behaviour. Research shows that bystanders can effectively stop bullying within 10 seconds of an intervention

• Showing restraint and thinking carefully before you speak or interject or make a judgement about another. The Galatians had a habit of marking who was in or who was out, of identifying others and judge them and their actions. We are all called to be aware of this for a judgemental culture is a bullying culture and it is the very culture Jesus and Paul speaks against. One of the comments Andrew Macleod makes about online and media commentary is that it often lacks restraint and goes to the extreme. This can be seen in the 3 cases I mentioned earlier. In each we have had people stridently using the situation to make a point without stopping, taking time think and reflect on the whole story before commenting. Restraint is vital if we are going to build a welcoming, inclusive and respectful Christian community.

• Stewardship  is not just about money, it is about how we manage our relationships wherever those relationships maybe. Stewardship is defined as: the responsible overseeing and protection of something considered worth caring for and preserving, in this case relationships and the stated culture of the church. The Galatians had the stated culture of Christian love and inclusion but instead were intent upon devouring each other over minor issues, jealousies, set ways of doing things and the need to get their own way. James and John showed little restraint and stewardship towards both others and the culture Jesus was advocating for. In fact, they showed little stewardship toward their relationship with him for he was indistinguishable from the culture he represented. This is a challenge for all of us in terms of maintaining relationships. How much do we value others so that we speak up when we see others being bullied or harassed is the question the Bystander program asks. It is one we need to ask our selves with  responsible restraint.

St. Augustine of Hippo  said it this way: 'love, and do what you will.'" The full passage reads: “Once for all, then, a short precept is given unto you: Love God, and do what you will: whether you hold your peace, through love hold your peace; whether you cry out, through love cry out; whether you correct, through love correct; whether you spare, through love do you spare: In all things, let the root of love be within, for of this root can nothing spring but what is good.”

In other words, Augustine is arguing objectively rather than subjectively–that when the love of God is the governing principle of our lives, then all that we think, say, and do will necessarily be yielded to that love.  If our love of God is real and profound, then obedience and faithfulness, right thinking and right actions will flow irresistibly from that love.  

May we live responsibly, with restraint and deep stewardship the relationship of love demanded by our relationship with Christ in all that we do. May we remind each other of this as necessary as we join in living the culture we desire.

As usual Paul has the last word: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. ²⁴And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.”

Made in the Image of Your Desire. – Luke 16: 1-13

“And his master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly;”

I love this story. Like many of Jesus’ stories it makes no sense, no logical sense from where we sit. How can Jesus tell a story in which the hero is a conniving survivor who uses graft and corruption to build for himself social capital? A man who, when under pressure from the corporate watch dogs, does a deal with as many business connections as possible in such a way as those investigating applaud him for his business acumen. It doesn’t save his job but does maintain his income and his lifestyle.

Jesus was a good judge of human nature for we can all put names and faces to this man, people we have watched through the media be caught and yet miraculously comeback in the business world due to the deals they did with others which guaranteed them support when they needed it most.

A business acquaintance used to say to me that there ‘is no connection between personal ethics and business success, if you want to be successful leave your personal ethics right where they belong, in your personal life’, was his mantra.

In this story Jesus seems to give approval to the shrewd and calculating nature of the corrupt manager, as if that is something to be aspired to. What was Jesus saying and is it relevant in this modern age where greed is not only prevalent but often the only reason for people doing business, undertaking studies or pursuing goals? People are seeking instant success and will sacrifice their personal ethics for a shot at the big one.

I am an unusual person. I simply cannot stand reality TV and especially not talent shows or cooking shows like Master Chef. And Junior Master Chef – what is that all about? The exploitation of children for TV ratings, parent delayed gratification and some vague hope that success on a TV show at 11 will make you successful for life? Bizarre is the word and the only word I can use. Hasn’t anyone caught on – reality TV is about producers making money at the expense of others and has very little to do with valuing and developing human beings.

Why would parents allow their 10-11 year olds to step any where near a Master Chef kitchen? These are children, little children, not little adults. These are children who have yet to develop an understanding of themselves in relation to the world and need space to be children to do that. I am constantly amazed (and have been for some time – this is not a new phenomena) at the confusion caused by parents and society who pressure children to be adults, way before they are ready. Today they are treated as equals, they are not; they are given choices and access to resources such as the internet and mobile phones that they do not need nor are ready for; they are allowed to wear styles of clothing and facial jewelry that are inappropriate for their age; they are applauded, awarded and treated as fledgling superstars or geniuses when they are simply precocious with an over inflated sense of self-importance, sadly, not necessarily of their own making. And no one ever says no to them for fear it will do some ghastly damage to their fragile egos. (OOOPS! I do!)

What happens when these young people find their dreams and hopes were just wishful thinking and they are left having to wash dishes at McDonalds, play guitar in pub bands or simply be unemployed and forgotten. We have an endemic of depression amongst young people and the blame sits squarely at the feet of those who have set them up for a fall. Their form of depression often is the result of them not getting what they thought or have been lead to believe by the adults in their lives, was or is rightfully theirs. And we are all implicit in this for we are apart of that society.

Breanne Potter offers an insight into how we might respond better on behalf of the children in our lives. She says;

I’m a member of Gen X, and my generation has it’s own unique set of characteristics and challenges, but thank goodness my parents taught me the value of my actions. They taught me that in competition, there are winners and losers. Everyone doesn’t get a trophy, and we always kept score. They taught me that you must practice and give 100% to win as well. I wasn’t paid to get good grades. I got good grades because they expected and would tolerate nothing less of me. I was taught the consequences of my actions. If I left my bicycle outside and it was stolen, then I would have to save my allowance (which I received for doing chores) and buy a new one. My parents scolded me when I was wrong and praised me when I did well. They also taught me that presentation matters. I remember a heated debate over my signature on my college applications. According to my dad it was too sloppy and I would never get into college with that kind of first impression. I did in fact get into college, but the lesson was still an important one.

It’s all about what we value. Jesus’ shrewd manager reminds us that what we value is what we will do everything in our power to protect. For him it was wealth, position and respect. He wasn’t interested in the finer points of life such as ethical behavior, life affirming values or respecting others. He would do whatever was necessary, including graft and corruption and the manipulation of others to maintain his place, or as it turned out, to better his position in society. At the end of this even his former boss admires him for his ruthless business acumen.

Forget Gordon Grecko and greed is good, this man adds, ‘greed is good and stop at nothing to get it!’ But as my father is oft to say, “You can’t make a good man out of a bad one with money”. It is what we value that will define us and we cannot have a foot in two or more camps. It becomes very uncomfortable.

Jesus smiles and says:
3No slave can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.”

Interesting choice of words – no slave – we are slaves to our values. What we value controls, owns, our life. We are what we believe in. We are slaves.

Jesus is clear when he seemingly congratulates the underhand activities of the wayward businessman. As Christians, we are to know what we believe, what we are slaves to, and to do everything in our power to turn that belief into a way of life which is rewarded both here and now and in heaven. We are either a part of the culture of our society or committed to the counter-cultural ethic of the gospel – we have to make a choice.

The prevailing attitude of our society is that the world owes us a living and we will manipulate it and others to achieve our goals. Unfortunately many Christians are unable to extricate themselves from this dilemma. Finding ways to interpret the Gospels to give respectability to greed, exploitation and bullying is at the very best a poor excuse for not making the choice.

It is not about us as individuals but us as a community, a community called to share at the well-laid table of Christ in what ever form that table may be laid. It is how we live out our allegiance to God’s creative compassion, which will distinguish us, not how materially well off or powerful we are. It is how we raise our children as children to be other focused adults, allowing them the time and the opportunity to become who and what they are meant to be and not what we want them to be – mini-me’s living out our missed opportunities. It is how we ensure we share whatever grace God has shared with us, with others.

Thomas Merton suggests:
“A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.”

Jesus says to you and I today to be shrewd in our how you live out what you believe for it is what you believe which will define how you live.

Year 8 Torquay students 'kill kangaroo on school camp'

Noticed this headline today - 'Year 8 Torquay students 'kill kangaroo on school camp'(see Herald Sun September 17, 2010). Herald Sun also ran the following headline today - 'Family's Facebook stalker was girl aged 12'.

Cruelty and violence seems to be on the rise and it is not just the boys who are involved. Girls are getting in on the act as well. Not only are the numbers reported appearing to increase so is the level of violence being used.

Alongside this is the failure of those involved to recognise the gravity of the situation when they are confronted with their actions. They appear not to understand the consequences for others, those they bully and their families, the community in which they live, nor for themselves. Whether it is because of the rapid pace of technological change, of the perceived shift in societal values or the rise of a narcissistic self absorbed paradigm in people lives, the facts seem to show that the world we have known is undergoing an earthquake like upheaval.

One thing we should not do is excuse it or to find excuses for such behaviour. Nor should we simply label it under one of the many burgeoning disorders being devised to cover the cracks in the ground. Violence, bullying, theft, stalking and cruelty are unacceptable crimes against others in what ever form they may be experienced.

This is happening and it is happening to and by our children. While we can point the finger at others, jump to defend our kids or simply deny they are involved, this is of little practical or long term help to them and the society in which they and we live.

It is time to stop, find the 5 second delay button and take a good long look at, not only what is happening, but how we might be contributing to it as well. What are our values, what drives our lives and what is most important to us? Are others of innate value to us or simply there to be used so that we can achieve our goals, outcomes or whims? Do we use violence and bullying in our close personal relationships? Are we able to separate our needs from the needs of others and find a way to support them, not just our immediate family, but those who are outside our family, often different to and unlike us? What do we model to our children? Do we hold them responsible for their behaviour? Do we say no and put a limit on what they can do, have or expect?

These are the questions we all need to tackle for ourselves and our children for without a serious and concerted effort by all involved with our children the future can seem to be a little uncertain, to say the least.

It is up to us.

Humans Behaving Badly

Looking at this weeks headlines I wonder what is happening in our world including:
Mark McInnes (CEO of David Jones)resigns over inappropriate behaviour (with female staff member).
Andrew Johns, Robert DiPierdomenico and Mal Brown inappropriate racial statements.
The verbal bullying between Government and mining industry.
Revenge murder of the mother of a driver involved in a car accident resulting in death.
Violence during the state of origin footy match which went unpunished by the officials and applauded by others.
And thats without looking at what is going on in the international arena.
And more.

No wonder we have a problem with bullying and inappropriate behaviour from our children.

The big question for all the big people (I mean adults) in the world is: what are you doing to arrest this problem? How do you model behaviour? What is it that your children see and hear every day they are with you?

How do you speak about others, deal with authority, understand difference and diversity and exemplify the type of behaviour you want your children to have?

If there are school rules, road rules, accepted standards of behaviour required by society, do you uphold these and support those who are responsible for them?

In a conversation with a group of boys the other day I asked: "Is it o.k. to disrespect others?", they predictably answered yes. I repeated the question three times, the last time they stood still and said nothing. It was then I said, "I think the answer is yes because your behaviour says loudly I do not respect you, so it is obviously o.k. to disrespect others."

And despite our willingness to blame every thing from computer games, movies, music and 'them' (who ever they are), the buck stops with those of us who has responsibility for them: not just parents but parents in the first instance (it's part of the job description), but all adults who have some influence over their lives.

It's time to look into the mirror and do something about what we see.

Time Out to Tune Up!

When Jesus Realised that they were about to come and take him by force and make him king, he with drew again to the mountain by himself – John 6:15

Sometime ago somebody said to me, ‘The good things you do can stop you from doing the best thing you should be doing.” At the time I smiled and thought little about it. Over the years though, the truth of that statement has begun to become clearer for me.

The danger in our lives is that we can get so involved in the stuff of life, the stuff we enjoy doing and the stuff we think we have to do that we lose sight of the thing we ought to be doing. We are busy, fully engaged with others, providing solutions, achieving stuff, finishing our studies, getting married, raising kids and so forth, that we forget what we set out to do in life. Like the old adage ‘ we are so busy fighting off the crocodiles we forgot all we went out to do was drain the pool!

The even bigger danger is that we become so engrossed in what’s coming at us from all sides, we have little or no space to reflect on any of this and after a while don’t even bother to bother about making the space to look at our lives from a different angle. We give up and spend the rest of our life distracted from our original purpose and only realise it when it is almost too late.

Jesus faced this dilemma every day. Every where he went people were coming at him, people who needed help, people for healing, people who wanted answers; religious leaders and politicians who were asking the hard questions and those slow learning disciples who had to be taught the basics about the spiritual life. If he went to get a drink at the village well people asked hard questions, if he went to a wedding he was put in charge of the wine, if he went to dinner the more eccentric guests did things like anoint his feet with oil and more. Just going across the lake gathered a large and needy crowd.

And it wasn’t that people came to him, he Jesus the incarnated Christ felt for them. He had compassion – a deep desire to do something for them – and he often acted on that compassion. He healed people, drove out demons, challenged social injustices and simply was available 24/7 to others out of this sense of identification, of being human just like those who came to him. Something had to be done, and often, he did something.

Yet he knew that his humanness, his humanity, was not all there was to his identity. He was the Christ, the Messiah, and there was more to his life than solving people’s material need for healing, belonging and security. He knew that innately to some degree, to what degree we do not know exactly, but we do know he spent much time exploring and defining his place in the world and his Fathers kingdom.

The first part of John 6:15 “When Jesus realised that they were about to come and take him by force and make him king’, speaks of that human pressure to do what is expected of you by others. To be responsible and step up to the mark that those around you deem important. Jesus faces here again the type of temptation he did in the desert after his baptism. The temptation to be seen as the king of the world, the one who is being lauded as the saviour of others, if he goes with them now he will grab his 15 minutes of fame and become a popular icon. But is that the best thing?

Each of us struggles daily with this temptation at some level. We are manipulated by how it feels when we find a sense of belonging in a group or in a family, by the kind words others say about us, the way others come to us to unburden their problems and seek our counsel, or simply by success at work, school or play. We can suddenly find ourselves caught up and off on the wrong track doing the good stuff but not the best.

At the same time we can be rocked off our feet by the negative that comes and takes us away from the best. In the last week we have seen the death of a 14 year old girl, the 4th in one Victorian high school, who has committed suicide because of bullying, the negative input from those around her. This extreme example of how easy and devastating it is to soak in how the world sees us and to allow that to define our identity highlights the importance of maintaining space to reaffirm our place in this world.

Jesus sees the crowd coming or perhaps, not so much sees them coming but discerns the mood, the intention, the desire of the crowd and withdraws. The last 8 words of John 6:15, ‘He withdrew again to the mountains by himself’ provide us with some clues.

He withdrew so he could draw breath, to breathe in the truth about his identity and breathe out the overwhelming temptation to be a superstar, leading the people to victory as their king. Jesus, the man, found space to reflect on Christ the messiah, the Son of God, and redefine for himself his whole reason for being.

And this was not a knee jerk reaction to this situation, it was his discipline, for there are over 16 references in the four Gospels to Jesus taking time out.

It was his delight – he delighted in this time alone for quiet reflection and fought to have it even if, on many occasions as this passage attests to, it was fleeting and interrupted by others.

It was dialogue with himself and with his father and it allowed him to define and redefine who he really was. It was prayer and contemplation which reinforced his fidelity to the mission of God. This includes those moments when we find him wrestling and arguing with God in the last two times his prayer is recorded, in the Garden before his betrayal and on the Cross before his death.

It was this discipline of dialogue with himself, working through what he thought and believed, what he desired and needed and how he saw himself at his centre which allows him to stay the course, even when the option to avoid the messy outcome is available to him, it is his decision, he remains faithful to his and his fathers mission.

It was his discipline of dialoguing with his father, working through the relational dimension with the kingdom in the midst of the world, which allowed him to say no to what may very well have been good things so that he could focus on God’s plan, the best thing.

Jesus discipline gave him the freedom to cut through the good stuff he did, and could have spent the rest of his life in to old age doing, to do the best thing even though that best thing cost him his life.

The challenge for us as his brothers and sisters, God’s Children and co-heirs of the kingdom, is to find that discipline for ourselves and in dialogue with God and ourselves to discern the best from the good and stay with it, regardless of the cost.