Since I last posted I have spent a couple of days in hospital as a result of some heart (yes I do have one!) pain which I endured while buying Bibles at the Bible Society Bookshop. God does have a sense of humour!
Not to be deterred I reacted as a fairly typical male and walked back to my car in Clarence Street, drove back to Randwick, went up to my office and deposited the Bibles, sent my assignment off by email so I wouldn't be late, rang the doctor and walked the killometre to her surgery. It was she who organised the ambulance for the 200metres to POW!
What's wrong with this story?
Not to put too fine a point on it - blokes.
Laying in bed at Hotel POW I reflected on a number of issues which may, just may have brought me to this point. They include:
Working two jobs
Getting involved in very stressful negotiations on behalf of others
Taking on two subjects of study
Anxiety about maintaining my Deacons lecence after December 2008
Anxiety about family health issues
No exercise or time out
Carrying the load without sharing it.
Sound familiar anybody?
It's what we men are good at - matrydom in pursuit of the impossible - slaying dragons when the dragonss aren't causing any one any grief.
Put it bluntly men die because we simply overload and rarely unload, support others with little support for ourselves, fulfilling the expectations of others (who ever they are) and have no idea about what to expect of ourselves. We set our selves up for failure and when we de we often fail to reflect and restructure but fall back intothe default position which means we cycle back to the same place some time in the future, often sooner than later.
My mother always said I was a slow learner but in this case I keep hearing Jesus words in John 5 to the man healed at the Sheep Gate, "See, you have been made well! Do not sin any more, so that nothing worse happens to you.”
Diligence and consientious effort is not a sin, but to overwork, over commit and to ignore your wellbeing and subsequently the wellbeing of others around you simply because you let it happen, is. It is a sin not to love yourself so that you can love others, not to say no when to say yes fails to fulfil the essence of the Two Great Commandments. And it is a sin we (in this case me) are called to identify and eradicate.
It is not a sin to have limits, to spend time with your family, friends, playing sport and just vegeing out no matter how much the world screams for you to save it from its self.
I guess this is a personal blog but it is also for all those who have ears to hear.
Thursday 28 August 2008
Monday 18 August 2008
The Wildman Leaves - Prodigal Son
“Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys.”
“Don’t wait to make your son a great man —make him a great boy”
The story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) explores the journey to manhood through the lives of three men at different stages in their journey:
THE YOUNGEST SON—the Wildman seeking to push boundaries and find his place in the world.
Testing Boundaries.
Establishing place in the world.
Conflict with father.
Separating from mother
Black & White world views.
Self focussed.
Wants it All, Now!
IT’S ALL ABOUT STEPPING OUT!!!
WHAT’S THE CHALLENGE FOR US:
In how we respond to our children’s journey.
In reflecting on and be honest about our own journey.
In responding to the high risk behaviour of young men.
“Don’t wait to make your son a great man —make him a great boy”
The story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) explores the journey to manhood through the lives of three men at different stages in their journey:
THE YOUNGEST SON—the Wildman seeking to push boundaries and find his place in the world.
Testing Boundaries.
Establishing place in the world.
Conflict with father.
Separating from mother
Black & White world views.
Self focussed.
Wants it All, Now!
IT’S ALL ABOUT STEPPING OUT!!!
WHAT’S THE CHALLENGE FOR US:
In how we respond to our children’s journey.
In reflecting on and be honest about our own journey.
In responding to the high risk behaviour of young men.
Monday 11 August 2008
How To Survive Life (and a Plane Crash).
Saturday’s paper (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,,23460386-5013414,00.html) had an article which asserted that almost all plane crashes are survivable. And those who survive most plane crashes come from a military or emergency background. How does this happen? The theory as that if you believe you can survive you most likely will.
Those who survive are most likely those:
• who read the emergency card in the seat pocket in front,
• identify the exits,
• work out how to get they,
• know who they are sitting next to and
• have a plan of action in case of an emergency.
They have planned to survive and believe they can.
It is always interesting to me when I take young men on adventure outings such as indoor rock-climbing how quickly after we gear up they look up at the wall and say ‘I can’t. Surprise, surprise; they rarely do.
There are others who you know are scared stiff but don’t voice it and tackle the wall. Mostly they do, usually they make a valiant effort and come back down ready to capitalise on their success.
How do we prepare our children to say I can instead of I can’t? How do we get them to overcome fears and fatalistic thinking and conquer the challenges life throws at them?
Notice the people who survive are not risk-takers? They are people who are risk adverse.
• They plan to survive,
• They scope out the challenges in front of then,
• They identify strategies they can use and
• They believe that if they follow these plans they will come out on top.
• They are resilient and resourceful, confident but not foolhardy and hopeful but not unrealistic.
These are the strategies we need to model and to instil in our kids. If adolescence is a lengthening process (see previous blog) the probability is more and more young people will believe they can’t, and instead of being resilient, they will be foolhardy risk-takers because they haven’t been taught, by word or action, how to survive.
Those who survive are most likely those:
• who read the emergency card in the seat pocket in front,
• identify the exits,
• work out how to get they,
• know who they are sitting next to and
• have a plan of action in case of an emergency.
They have planned to survive and believe they can.
It is always interesting to me when I take young men on adventure outings such as indoor rock-climbing how quickly after we gear up they look up at the wall and say ‘I can’t. Surprise, surprise; they rarely do.
There are others who you know are scared stiff but don’t voice it and tackle the wall. Mostly they do, usually they make a valiant effort and come back down ready to capitalise on their success.
How do we prepare our children to say I can instead of I can’t? How do we get them to overcome fears and fatalistic thinking and conquer the challenges life throws at them?
Notice the people who survive are not risk-takers? They are people who are risk adverse.
• They plan to survive,
• They scope out the challenges in front of then,
• They identify strategies they can use and
• They believe that if they follow these plans they will come out on top.
• They are resilient and resourceful, confident but not foolhardy and hopeful but not unrealistic.
These are the strategies we need to model and to instil in our kids. If adolescence is a lengthening process (see previous blog) the probability is more and more young people will believe they can’t, and instead of being resilient, they will be foolhardy risk-takers because they haven’t been taught, by word or action, how to survive.
Saturday 9 August 2008
Review "And When Did You Last See Your Father?"
What an interesting movie! First reaction when it finished was to find something lighter to laugh about! This was no light and easy movie but neither was it tragic and overbearing. It explored the relationships within a family from the memory of a son disillusioned and estranged from his father. Jim Broadbent, as the father, gives a compelling portrayal of a man out of his depth in relationships yet so self possessed that he compensates by denying the reality and living in the happines of self-delusion. Colin Firth is Blake,the adult son who has never come to grips with his perception of his father and finds himself repeating the mistakes he so condemns. Matthew Beard, who plays the teenage Blake, is excellent and mixes teenage angst with disappointment superbly as he struggles to deal with his extrovert father.
An excellent movie - not a comfortable one - but one every male should see.
The movie title refers to the need to see your father as he his not as you would like him to be.
An excellent movie - not a comfortable one - but one every male should see.
The movie title refers to the need to see your father as he his not as you would like him to be.
Friday 8 August 2008
Prolonged Adolescence
Noticed in Tuesdays tele (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,,24134638-5001021,00.html) insurance companies have increased the age for higher premiums for young drivers from 25 - 30, ostensibly because of higher risks.At a recent seminar a child psychologist said research suggested adolescence now begins at 9 not the traditional 12/13.So, if this is the case, then the normal adolescence behaviour patterns, wants and mores are with us not 10/12 years but some 21 years.
This fits with the growth of young people staying home until their mid-thirties or longer.
The result? We see the erosion of child hood, the beginning of at risk behaviour and expectations in the early teens not late teens, this at risk behaviour escalates and is maintained longer,and the normal transition to adult responsibilities and expectations such as marriage, children, home ownership and community involvement is delayed.
Implications for us as Dads, parents and role models is that we need to confident in our own values and place in the world, that we need to clearly define our expectations that children and young teens are still that and that there is a transition into adulthood by clearly defined signposts and expectations. We have to act as the adult parent during their teens and as the same adult parents when its time (early 20's at the latest)to move up and become an adult themselves.
What do you think?
This fits with the growth of young people staying home until their mid-thirties or longer.
The result? We see the erosion of child hood, the beginning of at risk behaviour and expectations in the early teens not late teens, this at risk behaviour escalates and is maintained longer,and the normal transition to adult responsibilities and expectations such as marriage, children, home ownership and community involvement is delayed.
Implications for us as Dads, parents and role models is that we need to confident in our own values and place in the world, that we need to clearly define our expectations that children and young teens are still that and that there is a transition into adulthood by clearly defined signposts and expectations. We have to act as the adult parent during their teens and as the same adult parents when its time (early 20's at the latest)to move up and become an adult themselves.
What do you think?
Monday 4 August 2008
Indoor Rock Climbing
A great opportunity to get together with your children and enjoy an afternoon out.
Indoor Rocks climbing is a sport that relies on partnership, support and teamwork and we are going rock climbing this Sunday 10th August.
Meet at the church @ 1.30p.m. and back by 4p.m.
Would be good to see you all there.
Indoor Rocks climbing is a sport that relies on partnership, support and teamwork and we are going rock climbing this Sunday 10th August.
Meet at the church @ 1.30p.m. and back by 4p.m.
Would be good to see you all there.
Movie Night Friday 8th @ 6p.m. @ The Ritz
As previously blogged have arranged the movie night to see "When Was the last Time You Saw Your Father?" for this Friday night at the randwick Ritz. We meet at 6p.m. and depnding upon when the movie screens have a meal before or after screening. I know it's the opening ceremony of the olympic games but with that and the rugby mad blokes its almost impossible to pick a suitable night.
Let me know by email if you are coming.
Let me know by email if you are coming.
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