At the recent Arlo Guthrie concert I had an ahha! moment. In 2015 it will be 50 years since his iconic anti-war song, 'Alice's Restaurant' as written. It became a hit some 3-4 years later. By deduction that means I was about 12-13 when I first heard it, was introduced to Woody Guthrie, the legendary American songwriter and singer, Arlo's Dad, and started to read John Steinbeck. On stage at the concert were 2 generations of the Guthrie clan and one of the Steinbeck family, representatives of a dynasty which has played a significant role in my growing up.
For more on this go to http://bit.ly/15vOwGg
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
Sunday, 3 February 2013
When are we Not Teachers?
Early on in my priesthood some asked, "Do you know when to be a priest and when to be yourself?" It seemed a weird question to me because my first answer was, "But I am always a priest!"
It has taken some years to come to grips with the magnitude of my reply, and I am still growing into it. I am never not a priest. Wherever I am that is who I am seen to be - God's representative in the pub, at the footy, on the beach, at work or at the shopping centre. Every thing I do is judged as the action of a priest and not as Glenn Loughrey. It is a tough gig and anyone who says different is, I would suggest, not trying.
Now I have compounded the task by becoming a chaplain in a school - a 'teacher'. Teaching is not a job, it is a vocation, much like that of a priest. Teachers not only teach content in class, they model life for their students. They are responsible for the whole person and are therefore mentors of those whom they stand in front of. Everything they do, wherever they do it, plays a role in the effectiveness of their vocation.
For both teachers and priests this means they are to be:
- Mindful. Being mindful of who we are is our first task. Remaining in the present moment helps us to make this less frightening and more exciting, for you and for others. You are a teacher or a priest and others are looking to you for leadership. Your choices have set you apart for a life that is very different to those around you. It has it's cost but the benefits when lived to the full are mysterious and amazing.
- Disciplined. Yes, we are always free to do what we want to do, but just because we can, should we? We are called to a disciplined life with boundaries and responsibilities. If we embrace such a life we have the freedom to teach, mentor and pastor.
- Self-sacrificial. Becoming a priest means I sacrifice my will for the will of God. I attempt to live in a self-sacrificing manner exemplified by Jesus. No short cuts. Teachers have the same call. They are developing young people for the future and are challenged to sacrifice what they want to do for what they need to do.
- Other focussed. In both roles, life is not about you. You are not entitled to your own personal life. It is a life lived in community and dialogue. You are now connected with those around you, for better or worse, and how you live will be noted by others, for you are there to show them the way.
- Aware of the '6 o'clock news' factor. How will what I am about to do, say or attend play out on the 6 o'clock news? What will others say when they see or hear this?
Vocations demand more of us than a job or a career for the raw material we are working with is far more precious than gold, money or prestige. What is in front of us is waiting to be moulded into the leaders and mentors of the future. Teenagers rarely listen to what we say, but they do learn from who we are.
No matter where we are, what we are doing or what we are saying we are always teachers and priests. Oh, by the way, if you're a parent, then you have a three-fold vocation!
What a privilege!
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Schoolies
We are in the midst of schoolies and we have watched the hedonistic behaviour of young people and the unfortunate consequences. I am led to ask the question, when did this become acceptable, to send away barely legal young people on mass without parental supervision. In fact, often funded and approved by parents. When did we decide that young people who can't keep their rooms clean, do the washing up or mow the lawn, relay on mum to do the shopping, cook their meals and drive them to sport and school are ok to be left alone in a place we recognise and accept is seedy by night, even at its best?
The question is not so much when, but who said it was ok? Who was the king that decreed this was now 'a right of passage' (albeit for simply doing something we all have had to do - finish school)? The answer - corporate consumerism. Schoolies is a construct of the tourism industry, to fill beds, hotels, restaurants, airlines etc. It has even spurned a new group of surrogate parents, 'the Red Frogs' , and a new family circle, schoolies hub. The result is, in a consumer driven society, parents are conditioned to say yes when everythng within them is screaming, no, this is not right.
At Ballina on Friday, in the local newsagency, I met 2 fathers who have been asking the same questions as me and are committed to saying no. It lifted my spirits. But parents who want to say no receive no help from the institutions within society who should be leading the way - the church, the governments, local civic leaders - they simpy allow it because they too have succumbed to corporate conumerism.
Like the frog in the slowly boiling water we have become not a part of the Kingdom of heaven, but a part of the kingdom of hell - a place where what I want rules supreme.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Facebook underage signups grow thanks to parents
November 2nd, 2011 at 8:28 am - Author
Slyvia
A new study which was part funded by Microsoft shows that children under 13 are signing up for Facebook, which breaches the federal laws in America, to protect children’s online privacy.
According to the report, there are millions of underage kids signing up for Facebook, and many parents are helping their children to lie, getting them online.
The findings show that 7 out of 10 parents said they helped their children set up accounts, violating the companies terms of service rules.
Danah Boyd, the co author of ‘Why Parents Helps Their Children Lie to Facebook about Age’ said “There has been outrage about under-aged children being on Facebook. And as it turns out, many parents are not only okay with it — they are helping their children set up accounts.”
The above comment found on the web and seen in the papers over the last week has fuelled the discussion about what age children should be allowed to be on Facebook. It is obvious that many parents deem their children are capable of handling both the complex Facebook privacy settings and the intricacies of friending and posting unseen as young as 8.
For me the issue is a little more complex than that. In fact, that is not the primary concern we should be discussing. The issue has to do with entitlement – I am entitled to participate in this technology and any rules set to regulate it do not apply to my children or me.
We live in a world where there are rules that govern our behaviour, our interactions with and our responsibilities to others. Without these rules we would have anarchy. Despite the fact that we may not like all of the rules, we are not entitled to believe they do not apply to us.
Travelling down the highway from Brisbane with my cruise control on the speed limit, I wondered if I was in a foreign land where 110 meant 120 as car after car, p-platers and all, sped past. Apparently they are entitled to travel faster than the law allows.
The message we are giving our children when we allow or assist them to break rules or break rules in front of them, is that rules, acceptable limits, do not apply to them. If they want to they will, becomes their mantra, and when the rules are applied, they will be shocked and dismayed that someone dares to say no to them. Unfortunately when that happens, their parents are similarly dismayed and come to their aid blaming all others.
A parent was complaining that their daughter was being bullied and harassed on Facebook. She was 10. She wanted to know what to do. Simple – it’s against the rules for her to be on Facebook. If she weren’t on there she wouldn’t be being bullied. Get her off.
This not a rant against technology, just pointing out that the argument about age is the wrong one. It’s about responsibility and setting the example. It’s about realizing, as both parents and children, that we are in fact entitled to little in this life, and any such entitlement comes with responsibility and respect for the acceptable limits that maintains society as we know it.
When is the right time for children to be on Facebook, I’m not sure, but I know the rules say it’s not 8 or 10 or 12 – you must be 13!
Slyvia
A new study which was part funded by Microsoft shows that children under 13 are signing up for Facebook, which breaches the federal laws in America, to protect children’s online privacy.
According to the report, there are millions of underage kids signing up for Facebook, and many parents are helping their children to lie, getting them online.
The findings show that 7 out of 10 parents said they helped their children set up accounts, violating the companies terms of service rules.
Danah Boyd, the co author of ‘Why Parents Helps Their Children Lie to Facebook about Age’ said “There has been outrage about under-aged children being on Facebook. And as it turns out, many parents are not only okay with it — they are helping their children set up accounts.”
The above comment found on the web and seen in the papers over the last week has fuelled the discussion about what age children should be allowed to be on Facebook. It is obvious that many parents deem their children are capable of handling both the complex Facebook privacy settings and the intricacies of friending and posting unseen as young as 8.
For me the issue is a little more complex than that. In fact, that is not the primary concern we should be discussing. The issue has to do with entitlement – I am entitled to participate in this technology and any rules set to regulate it do not apply to my children or me.
We live in a world where there are rules that govern our behaviour, our interactions with and our responsibilities to others. Without these rules we would have anarchy. Despite the fact that we may not like all of the rules, we are not entitled to believe they do not apply to us.
Travelling down the highway from Brisbane with my cruise control on the speed limit, I wondered if I was in a foreign land where 110 meant 120 as car after car, p-platers and all, sped past. Apparently they are entitled to travel faster than the law allows.
The message we are giving our children when we allow or assist them to break rules or break rules in front of them, is that rules, acceptable limits, do not apply to them. If they want to they will, becomes their mantra, and when the rules are applied, they will be shocked and dismayed that someone dares to say no to them. Unfortunately when that happens, their parents are similarly dismayed and come to their aid blaming all others.
A parent was complaining that their daughter was being bullied and harassed on Facebook. She was 10. She wanted to know what to do. Simple – it’s against the rules for her to be on Facebook. If she weren’t on there she wouldn’t be being bullied. Get her off.
This not a rant against technology, just pointing out that the argument about age is the wrong one. It’s about responsibility and setting the example. It’s about realizing, as both parents and children, that we are in fact entitled to little in this life, and any such entitlement comes with responsibility and respect for the acceptable limits that maintains society as we know it.
When is the right time for children to be on Facebook, I’m not sure, but I know the rules say it’s not 8 or 10 or 12 – you must be 13!
Monday, 21 March 2011
Resources for Parents
This week in the new chapel area (watch this space for new name and logo - coming soon!) a range of resource books for parents is being added to the new bookshelves. These books are recommended reads from the Chaplains personal library and are available to be borrowed and read. The books cover subjects relevant to parents and provide a wide range of information and support. Please feel free to call in and pick-up and booklist, browse the shelves, have a coffee and borrow what you need. (Details of how to borrow will be displayed clearly for you).
A copy of the book list will be added to the blog in the coming days on the new Resources page.
A copy of the book list will be added to the blog in the coming days on the new Resources page.
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Welcome to 2011
Well, here we are, back at the beginning of another school year! I hope all had a great break and are ready for whatever this year surprises us with.
I am mindful that we are all aware of the tragedy which has affected much of our country - the floods across Queensland, NSW and Victoria, and the bush fires in WA. Our country is a place of diverse experiences and is always challenging us through the extremes of its climate. Sometimes it is easy to forget the harshness inherent in the place in which we live, but nature finds ways to remind us that life here is fragile and risky.
There are some changes on this blog for 2011. Firstly it will be used to update the school community on happenings in the chapel. A new link has been included called 'What's On In The Chapel'. If you click on it you will see the latest details of events and activities being held weekly in the chapel.
Another new link is being added called "Community Corner" which has information for the wider school community, particularly parents. This will announce events and activities specifically for parents.
This blog will be updated weekly with copies of sermons, topical information and more. You are invited to comment, subscribe, suggest ideas and much more.
I am mindful that we are all aware of the tragedy which has affected much of our country - the floods across Queensland, NSW and Victoria, and the bush fires in WA. Our country is a place of diverse experiences and is always challenging us through the extremes of its climate. Sometimes it is easy to forget the harshness inherent in the place in which we live, but nature finds ways to remind us that life here is fragile and risky.
There are some changes on this blog for 2011. Firstly it will be used to update the school community on happenings in the chapel. A new link has been included called 'What's On In The Chapel'. If you click on it you will see the latest details of events and activities being held weekly in the chapel.
Another new link is being added called "Community Corner" which has information for the wider school community, particularly parents. This will announce events and activities specifically for parents.
This blog will be updated weekly with copies of sermons, topical information and more. You are invited to comment, subscribe, suggest ideas and much more.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Parenting- A Simple Tip
Parenting is a tough job. Unfortunately we often have to balance parenting with a number of other tough jobs, like the one that pays the bills or that of maintaining our relationship with our partner, for example.
Finding enough time to spend with our children and to explore all those parenting things such as communication, encouraging achievements at home and school, boundary setting and teaching social skills is almost impossible. Yet there is one simple (not easy) way to achieve many of those goals at the one and same time.
Sharing one meal a day together for say 5 days per week around the dining room table. That would equal some 260 plus quality hours of parenting each year! Meals are a great time for people to share information and communicate, engage in that elusive eye contact necessary to reading the emotional moods of those you live and go to school with, raise interesting topics for discussion and allow questions to be asked and explored by all.
It may not sound like much but it’s a great way to begin, everybody has to eat, and if some simple ground rules are set at the beginning such as no talking with you mouth full, waiting for others to finish before you speak, no leaving the table until everyone is finished for example it could just be the start of an exciting adventure.
Research supports this simple approach and it is worth trying.
Finding enough time to spend with our children and to explore all those parenting things such as communication, encouraging achievements at home and school, boundary setting and teaching social skills is almost impossible. Yet there is one simple (not easy) way to achieve many of those goals at the one and same time.
Sharing one meal a day together for say 5 days per week around the dining room table. That would equal some 260 plus quality hours of parenting each year! Meals are a great time for people to share information and communicate, engage in that elusive eye contact necessary to reading the emotional moods of those you live and go to school with, raise interesting topics for discussion and allow questions to be asked and explored by all.
It may not sound like much but it’s a great way to begin, everybody has to eat, and if some simple ground rules are set at the beginning such as no talking with you mouth full, waiting for others to finish before you speak, no leaving the table until everyone is finished for example it could just be the start of an exciting adventure.
Research supports this simple approach and it is worth trying.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Resiliency
There is much discussion on what keeps people safe, particularly in relation to bouncing back from difficult times or the simple grind of doing life.
Much discussion about self-esteem which has seen people often unwilling to set boundaries or highlight when people especially children behave badly or do poor work - it has been reduced to only saying good things and never the critical, always saying yes and never no, and has seen any reasonable concept of discipline being avoided.
Resiliency on the other hand is that component of one's personality which allows you to engage fully with life, take the knocks, recognize your limits and accept limits and direction given by others and to process all ths in a manner which affirms your place in the world especially when that world is hostile to you.
Resiliency refers to the capacity of human beings to survive and thrive in the face of adversity.
• Three Sources of Resiliency
I HAVE
People around me I trust and who love me no matter what
People who set limits for me so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble
People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things
People who want me to learn to do things on my own
People who help me when I am sick, in danger or need to learn
I AM
A person people can like or love
Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern
Respectful of myself and others
Willing to be responsible for what I do
Sure things will be all right
I CAN
Talk to others about things that frighten or bother me
Find ways to solve problems I face
Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous
Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or to take action
Find someone to help me when I need it
Grotberg, E, (1995)
Much discussion about self-esteem which has seen people often unwilling to set boundaries or highlight when people especially children behave badly or do poor work - it has been reduced to only saying good things and never the critical, always saying yes and never no, and has seen any reasonable concept of discipline being avoided.
Resiliency on the other hand is that component of one's personality which allows you to engage fully with life, take the knocks, recognize your limits and accept limits and direction given by others and to process all ths in a manner which affirms your place in the world especially when that world is hostile to you.
Resiliency refers to the capacity of human beings to survive and thrive in the face of adversity.
• Three Sources of Resiliency
I HAVE
People around me I trust and who love me no matter what
People who set limits for me so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble
People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things
People who want me to learn to do things on my own
People who help me when I am sick, in danger or need to learn
I AM
A person people can like or love
Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern
Respectful of myself and others
Willing to be responsible for what I do
Sure things will be all right
I CAN
Talk to others about things that frighten or bother me
Find ways to solve problems I face
Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous
Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or to take action
Find someone to help me when I need it
Grotberg, E, (1995)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)